We are all social beings, and sometimes it can be challenging to understand each other in relationships.
Let me warn you—this message might not be easy to digest, especially if you haven’t yet started walking the path of self-awareness. But self-awareness allows you to look at your life with a deeper and broader perspective, understanding that what happens in your life often occurs with your own permission.

ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT COINCIDENTAL. They are not random; they were determined even before you were born. You agreed on who would enter your life, what role they would play, and how they would behave. Why? To teach you something about yourself, help you grow, and turn you toward self-awareness.

In other words, RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS REFLECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF.

We live in a time where most marriages are not arranged, and we say “yes” of our own free will. If, one day, you feel like you’re with the “wrong” person, it likely wasn’t a sudden realisation. Deep down, it was clear from the beginning. However, fears, expectations, or personal gains may have blinded us. Or perhaps, at the time, we simply didn’t know ourselves yet. We may not have experienced unconditional love and self-worth in childhood, didn’t see it reflected in others, or didn’t know how to express our needs and teach others how to love us.

SO IT’S TIME TO LEARN.

We enter relationships by choice, and we remain, grow, or stagnate in them by that same free will.

What do “unsuccessful” relationships teach us?

“FAILURE” SPOUSE: They show you how much you’re carrying on your own shoulders—distrusting others, undervaluing their capabilities, refusing to rest, and not allowing others to care for you. These often stem from inherited patterns passed down from hard-working mothers or grandmothers.

“STINGY” SPOUSE: They reflect how much you undervalue yourself, often sacrificing your own needs.

“NARCISSISTIC” SPOUSE: They teach you that YOU are the most important person in YOUR life. Your needs should come first.

“WOMANISER” SPOUSE: They reveal that you are still comparing yourself to others and competing with something unresolved within you.

“RUDE” SPOUSE: They highlight how deeply you lack self-respect.

“SELFISH” SPOUSE: They show how little you love yourself and how often you fail to make yourself a priority.

“ABUSIVE” SPOUSE: They bring attention to how much you pressure, control, and punish yourself. They also reveal how you ignored early warning signs and still chose to proceed.

“ADDICTED” SPOUSE: They uncover a lack of clarity and self-awareness in your life. Living with someone who is “intoxicated” creates a fog of fears, passivity, and helplessness—where life lacks clarity and freedom.

This message is not easy to accept, as it holds much between the lines. Relationships are complex and deeply personal, especially when they involve pain, resistance, and the need to turn inside to take responsibility for your choices.

So, as adults, instead of focusing on your spouse, turn to yourself first. Ask yourself: How did I attract this person? Remember, we often mirror each other. And while people do change over time, it is only because they choose to—not because you want them to.

Never stay in a toxic relationship without taking action. Reflect, understand, and work toward growth—both for yourself and for your relationship.

Mistakes and challenges are important steps toward self-reflection and self-awareness.

Wishing you all wisdom, awareness, growth and fulfilling relationships. ❤️