Gaslighting: How to Spot Emotional Manipulation Before It Breaks You

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that slowly makes you doubt your own reality. It’s when someone manipulates your thoughts, memories, or feelings, leaving you confused, anxious, or unsure of yourself.

Unlike a simple argument, gaslighting is repetitive and subtle. Over time, it can make you question your own sanity, your decisions, and even your self-worth.

At We for You, we want young people to recognise that feeling “crazy” in a relationship may not be about you at all — it could be a form of emotional manipulation.

How Gaslighting Feels

Being gaslighted can feel like constantly walking on uneven ground. Some common experiences include:
• Doubting your memory or perception of events
• Apologising frequently, even when you haven’t done anything wrong
• Feeling anxious or confused around someone
• Questioning your own judgment or instincts
• Feeling isolated or like “nobody else understands”

These are not signs of weakness. They’re signs that someone else is trying to control your reality.

Common Signs of Gaslighting

Recognising the patterns is the first step to protecting yourself. Watch for:
• Denying facts or previous conversations — “That never happened” or “I never said that”
• Twisting reality to create self-doubt — “You’re imagining things” or “You’re overreacting”
• Dismissing feelings or reactions — “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”
• Undermining confidence and self-worth — constant criticism disguised as jokes or comparisons

If these behaviours happen repeatedly, it’s not just bad communication — it’s manipulation.

Why Gaslighting Is Dangerous

Gaslighting works because it slowly erodes your sense of trust in yourself. Over time, it can lead to:
•Anxiety and depression
•Low self-esteem
•Difficulty trusting others
•Feeling “stuck” in the relationship
•Questioning your own identity and decisions
 
Understanding what gaslighting looks like is crucial for reclaiming your autonomy and emotional health.

How to Protect Yourself

1. Trust Your Instincts – If something feels off, it probably is. Your feelings are valid.
2. Document Conversations – Keep notes or messages to help confirm your perspective.
3. Set Boundaries – Don’t tolerate repeated manipulation or dismissal.
4. Reach Out for Support – Friends, family, or trained emotional wellness supporters can help you validate your experience.
5. Seek Professional Help – Therapy or counselling can help you rebuild confidence and clarity.

You Deserve Respect

No one should make you question your reality. Gaslighting is about control, not love or friendship. Recognising it early gives you power — the power to step back, protect your mental health, and reclaim your sense of self.

If you’ve experienced gaslighting, you are not alone.
Support is available.

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