For example, when they aren’t invited to a birthday party, or one sibling is invited while another is not.

When this happens, children often feel sad and upset, depending on their age and sensitivity.

So first acknowledge their emotions.
Instead of denying your child’s feelings or trying to cheer them up with distractions, simply validate how they feel. Say something like:
“I can see that you’re feeling really sad right now. It’s ok to feel sad.”

Allow them to process their emotions.
Once their emotions are acknowledged, children can begin to understand and process them.

REMEMBER‼️
We usually don’t want them to dwell on negative emotions, but we are here to help them recognise, name, and allow them to feel their emotions before moving forward.

Pay attention to your feelings.
How do you feel about the situation? Are you irritated, angry, or upset? It’s important to integrate your own emotions first before talking to your child. If you escalate by venting to your husband or your mom, your child will sense this and feel even worse.
Even if you not escalate, but will have negative thoughts and feelings about situation it works in the same way.

Discuss the situation calmly.
Here’s an example from our family:

When my daughter ( 6) wasn’t invited to a birthday party, even though her older brother was, we talked about it like this:

“You know, everyone gets to decide who they want to invite. That’s their choice, and they felt this was the right decision for them. It’s their wish, and they had their reasons, which we may never fully know. But this doesn’t say anything about you. It’s their decision and their birthday.
When it’s your birthday, you’ll also decide who you want to invite. There might be a child who wants to come, but you might not invite them. And that’s okay—you can’t invite everyone.

This helps child to understand that:
1. Other people’s decisions are not about them. It doesn’t mean they’re bad or rejected.
2. They, too, have the right to make choices.
3. Friendships can vary, and that’s normal.

By not dramatising the situation but showing understanding, the child learns important lessons:
1. “My feelings are valid, but they don’t make me powerless.”
2. “I can accept others’ decisions calmly because they don’t define my worth.”
3. “Life is full of choices, and I also have the power to choose.”

So, the next time your child faces disappointment, let them feel their emotions first. Acknowledge them. Once they feel understood and have processed their emotions, you can move on to discussing the situation.

In situations like these, we also need to remind ourselves that parenting can feel overwhelming, especially when navigating our children’s emotional well-being and their social connections.
But as mothers, we are doing our best.
Remember, Allah (SWT) sees your efforts, your patience, and your love. May He reward you for your dedication to your families and bless you with ease in your parenting journey.

Have a blessed Friday!
Maryam